My grandmother had breast cancer 22 years ago. She gets checked every year to make sure it hasn’t come back. Less than 6 months her breast cancer came back in her lungs and duodenum and it was stage 4. She was in the hospital for a few weeks, very sick.
They tried a mild chemo treatment and it put her in the hospital. She was too weak for the treatment she wasn’t eating and she was not trying. They decided she couldn’t handle the chemo treatment.
If you have a loved one in the same situation, make sure they eat even if you have to feed them. It is so important.
Hospice was called in. I stayed with her every weekend.
She required a lot of help. She could not get up on her own. She could not feed herself. She couldn’t wipe herself. It was only 2 months, if that, that she went downhill so fast. All we could do was make her comfortable. Make sure she knew that is was okay for her to go.
My grandmother was always the classy type. She always dressed up really nice. Her dignity was going little by little. Something she never would have wanted. My mom said a prayer on Facebook asking God to take her that it was time for her to go. Mind you, she couldn’t even speak to us. She couldn’t let us know what she wanted. Fifteen minutes after my mom made that prayer on Facebook, God called my grandmother home.
We all knew that she was going to pass any minute. As much as you think we were prepared for her passing, we were not.
You cannot prepare yourself for a loved ones passing. It doesn’t really hit you right away either.
When you have a loved one that is sick, as sick as my grandmother was, please just make them comfortable. Don’t force them to do anything. They know what they can do and will do it if they feel like they can. I was my grandmothers “little nurse” that is what everyone called me. I didn’t stay with her on the weekends and take care of her for anyone except her. I wanted to be there for her and my grandfather. I wanted to spend as much time as I possibly could with her.
My grandmother taught me so much about growing up in the 40’s and so on. She taught me more about history than I ever learned in school. When your grandparents or parents want to talk to you about when they grew up, please listen. If you don’t listen, you will be missing out on so much. These stories that they tell are a big part of their life and is something that you should remember so you can pass this stuff on to your children.
I have watched my mom cry for hours. My mom and grandmother were so close and now she feels lost without her. I don’t know what to do or say to make things better. I really don’t think there is anything that you can say to make things any better. I wish I could change things. I don’t like seeing people hurt. I can’t imagine what it is like to lose your mother. My mom and I have always been close and I know that I would be lost without her. We have to remember that God has a plan for all of us. My grandmother lived a good life. She was 86 when she passed away. My grandparents have been together for 70 years, they just had their 63rd wedding anniversary 3 days after she passed. We believe that my grandmother was trying to wait for their anniversary before she left.
She is now with her son, Jimmy. He was killed when he was 18. Jimmy and his friend were riding bikes and Jimmy was bit by a drunk driver. It was a hit and run, so they never got any answers. At least now they are together. We will all be together one day. Until then we must live life and celebrate our loved ones lives that have passed on. That is what they would want us to do. Even though it is hard. It is hard not to cry, not to feel sad. We must remember that our loved ones would not want us to be sad, they want us to live life to the fullest and just remember all the good times with them.
Get your parents, great grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings.. Etc. to write a letter to your children for their eighteenth birthday and put these letters in a time capsule. On your child’s eighteenth birthday, let them open this time capsule. A lot of these people who wrote letters will probably be gone. Enjoy your family and remember that any day could be he last day you see someone. So, tell them you love them no matter what the situation is. Tomorrow is never promised.